When I saw my pride it made me literally ill, praise God! If only all my sin would make me so ill as to want to run screaming away from it and to the Light of the World. Sunday evening my darling (and daring) Ram pointed out a point of pride in my life. Suddenly, I could not breathe. The lack of oxygen caused a tingling sensation across my entire skull. It was a physical response that try as I might, I could not contain or control. The Father had to heal me. I want to have the attitude of Charles Spurgeon. Listen to these words from his autobiography:
While I was on the lower ground, riding in a hansom cab, I saw a light before me, and when I came near the hill, I marked that light gradually go up the hill, leaving a train of stars behind it. This line of new-born stars remained in the form of one lamp, and then another, and another. It reached from the foot of the hill to its summit. I did not see the lamplighter. I do not know his name, nor his age, nor his residence; but I saw the lights which he had kindled, and these remained when he himself had gone his way. As I rode along, I thought to myself, ‘How earnestly do I wish that my life may be spent in lighting one soul after another with the sacred flame of eternal life! I would myself be as much as possible unseen while at my work, and would vanish into eternal brilliance above when my work is done’
O let that be my attitude! May I seek to serve God without any thought of self. That I might set people aflame with love for God without ever being seen myself. That the glory of God would be my one, consuming obsession. I’m not there yet, but I want to be. Lord humble me! You must increase, I must decrease.